Credit Reports Are Not Sexy

{ January 4th, 2008 }

I finally decided to check out one of my free credit reports from one of the three credit reporting agencies. It seems to be advice that everybody and their mother seems to give, so I figured I’d give it a whirl and see what it’s like.

After avoiding all the fake sites that wanted to get me to pay for what the law demands be free, I made my way over to AnnualCreditReport - the official site for free credit reports. The website was very easy to navigate, and after making sure I was at the right place I was able to quickly find where I needed to go to get my report. I entered all the relevant information, chose which of the three credit agencies I wanted my report from, and was perusing my report in a matter of minutes. The only problem was that the whole process was kind of boringly lame. There was nothing to grab my attention and absolutely nothing that made the site ’sticky,’ except for the heavy doses of fear being dished out on just about every thing everywhere. There wasn’t even a cool number on the credit report I got from Experian to let me see how I was doing.

I make the following suggestions to AnnaualCreditReport.com to improve their site and generate traffic:

Get Chuck Norris to be your spokesman - remove those silly looking “real” people photos and put up the Chuck.
Include a “Release the Norris” button that unleashes Chuck to track down those evil people who would steal a person’s identity.
Make videos of what Law and Order (a.k.a. Chuck’s right and left legs) do to identity thieves and post them on the website. This will both act as a deterrent to identity thieves the world over and generate enough energy to power everything between Seattle and San Diego from the juvenile giggles and squeals from viewers, like in Monsters Inc.
Make money by selling the energy. This way you will not have to keep trying to get people to sign up for silly pay services.
Vote Pat Paulsen for president.

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2 Responses to “Credit Reports Are Not Sexy”

1
Anonymous
January 4th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Credit reports may not be sexy, but I bet you’re sexy…
2
Steward
January 8th, 2008 at 11:30 am
I just don’t think that I am, I know that Chuck is!

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