I have got a Christmas shopping induced thinking spree on my hands. Buying gifts for my wife was hard this year. I had a lot of doubt circling around in my noggin about what gift I should get and if my wife would like it or not. Now my wife isn’t particularly picky or hard to please – I just have a serious (well, its not life threatening serious) problem with shopping.
For some reason I despise it. I mean I like buying stuff and all, especially when it is cool, but there is just something about actually buying things that touches this place of deep uneasiness within. I get pounded with uncertainty. Am I making the right purchase? Is a better deal out there just waiting for me to find it? Can I do something else with this money that would be better for my family, for me, or for the world? The longer I think about it, the deeper the uncertainty goes.
Sometimes it is enough to stop me from making a purchase, especially if it’s a big one. When I was in the market for a laptop a few months ago I simply could not make a decision about what to get. I looked at Dell, HP, Lenovo – I even toyed with the idea of building my own machine (that idea was quickly shot down by my wife who said, and I summarize, “Computers one would make oneself suck. They always break.” The impersonal, objective pronoun here is to completely distance the reader from supposing the I was the only person my wife was referring to. In fact, if she had let me build my own machine it would not have broken … in the first month … probably.) Needless to say the thought of missing the deal of the century was stopping me cold. If it wasn’t for the generosity of a family member who felt like we had a gift coming I’d probably be typing this post on my COMPY 386. Its definitely much easier to spend someone else’s money than my own.
I can’t imagine what I am going to be like once one of our cars dies. I am assuming that the pressure from needing a car right away on one side and the pressure not to miss the deal of the century on the other side will drive me to the breaking point. I’m sure it will be good for me though. Maybe it will force me to grow a little bit.